10 Things You Should Know About Your First Date
So you’re heading out and meeting someone new—someone who you hope to be nice; someone who you hope will give you the wonderful relationship you’ve been dreaming of. However, take it easy for now—you have to start somewhere, and don’t people say that you will almost certainly have to crawl before you can walk?
Good relationships form from good groundwork. You have to get to know the person well enough to judge if the two of you will click and have sparks, or if the two of you will click and ignite a ticking time bomb. As the start of any possible relationship, going on a first date is the best way to go—it sets an intimate setting where the two of you are open to opening up to each other. It’s an important event where you should step your best foot forward so you won’t trip and fall when you decide to take that leap of faith. However, as much as first dates are the groundwork of beautiful relationships, they can be the reason for disastrous meetings, too, if the first date went on badly. How do you keep your first date running smoothly? Here are ten things you should know.
- It’s All About First Impressions
You know what they say about first impressions—they last. While people tend to rethink their first impressions of people after they’ve spent more time with them, how sure are you that your date will end up calling or agreeing to another date? For all you know, this first date might be your last, so you have to make sure you give her a lasting, good first impression.
For starters, plan your date ahead of time—preferably weeks prior to actually going out and especially if you’re the one asking for a date. If you want to make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible, preparing for every aspect is a great way to ensure it.
Check out possible date locations, and then book the reservation in advance, so that you’d have plenty of time to reconsider or look for alternatives should the place be unavailable to accommodate you on your date. You’ll also want to prepare your attire and your repertoire of date-gear beforehand—think of it as a soldier going to war. You wouldn’t want to be caught in the middle of a war without weapons and without the knowledge on how to attack, defend, or survive, would you?
You’ll also want to inform your date about the general date plan ahead of the actual date. Like you, they’d want to prepare, so giving your date a heads up on the agenda will give him or her the clues as to the appropriate attire for the occasion.
- Engage in Meaningful Conversation
Nothing makes a date more successful than if the two people connected with each other. First dates are all about getting to know your date, and your date getting to know you, so how will you find out all the interesting facts about your date if the only thing you do is stare at the area and eat your food?
Break the ice by initiating the conversation. You don’t have to talk about rocket science right off the bat; you could start by complimenting or asking about something that will spark your date’s interest—such as his or her clothes, or the venue choice. After a few pleasant exchanges, talking with each other won’t be so difficult.
- Save Some for Later
No doubt that your date is interested in knowing about you and what makes you tick, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t spare your date any and every excruciating details. Opening up to your date is a beautiful thing, but you should also choose the appropriate things to say. Share details about you that you believe will interest your date, not turn him or her off.
Being too open can be off-putting, too. You could come off as too pushy, or overly familiar with a person you just met. Better save your sordid tales later, when your date has had enough time to get to know you better.
- Spare the Ex
It’s normal—and important—for you and your date to ask about the most recent relationship, because it’s a good indicator as to how well-adjusted your date has been since the breakup. However, take it easy on spilling the beans on your ex—too much too fast can come across as you badmouthing people, or you still being hung up on your ex. It’ll also make your date think if you’d also throw him or her under the bus if your date doesn’t take off as well.
- Don’t Hog the Microphone
It’s good to keep the conversation going, but if you’re being too much of a chatterbox for most of the time, it’s more likely that your date will get bored or annoyed. Conversations are like a two-way street with a lot of give and take—to be a good conversationalist, you must also be a good listener. Keep eye contact when your date is talking, and lean slightly towards him or her to show interest. Better yet—have actual interest in the things your date says. Ask meaningful or insightful questions from time to time. It’ll impress your date, as well as make him or her more at ease!
- Set Up a Curfew
The rule of first dates is that the shorter it is, the better the outcome will be. Short dates that end on a positive note will have a higher chance of having a second date, while sour dates… well, you would probably want to bail out as soon as possible with those.
A good and courteous way to set up a time limit is to tell your date beforehand that you’ll have to be elsewhere after an hour or so, depending on how short you want the date to be. The advanced notice will surely be appreciated!
- Update Your Whereabouts
Dating has its share of dangers, so you also have to be careful of your safety. You can start by telling someone about your date—a friend, family member, roommate, etc.—and updating them on the status from time to time. It’ll give them a sense of how things are going on your end. Remember, though, that you should use your mobile phone to a minimum when on a date! It’s rude to ignore your date and fiddle with your phone, so if you want to text a friend for an update, politely excuse yourself for a few minutes.
- Stick to One Place
Since you want to shorten the date, and to keep your safety in check, it’s for the best if you and your date stick to a single venue. Switching date venues is a popular date agenda, but if a person you’ve just met invited you to a secluded bar or restaurant, take caution! First dates are best done in well-known places with lots of human traffic.
- Absolutely No Sex
No matter how attracted or willing both parties are, sex should never be on the menu during first dates, for about a hundred valid reasons. Sex on a first date might give your date all the impressions you don’t want him or her to have, such as you being a woman who is too easy, or has been all over town with everyone else, or you being a man who only wants one thing and leaves as soon as you get it. Sex also toys with your emotions, which clouds your judgment as to whether your date is a potential for a healthy relationship or not. Calm that raging fire and save the sizzle for later—much later.
- Be Yourself
As cliché as it may sound, remember to be yourself. Many people balk under the pressure of delivering a good first impression, and end up pretending to be someone they’re not, or fitting themselves into an impossible mode. This scenario never ends well, and will only have you deeper and deeper into the sinkhole you’ve dug yourself into. Even if you think you have no chance with your date, because you’re not attractive enough, or you’re too old, or that you’re not as successful as you’d hope, you never know if you have another set of redeeming qualities that your date will find to be weightier than your shortcomings. So, stop pretending and just play up your good points. After all, you want your date to be impressed by you, and not by a fictional persona, right?
Finding a person on the Christian dating sites can be easy but dating anyone is never easy. It can be called as the never-ending process where a person has to not make the other person feel uncomfortable or offended. They are needed to stay polite and at least should be at their best behaviour and appearing presentable in their initial meetings.